This Saturday was the team event for the annual Bristol Bikefest at Ashton Court, so I spent the majority of my day up there cheering on S and his team mate, and various other friends who were competing.
As I sat there in the gazebo from 12 to 9pm, eating Pringles, offering moral support and massages, and being surrounded by acres of bike paraphernalia, it got me thinking about how things have changed in the eight years I have known S. I was in denial for quite some time, refusing to accept my lot in life, but after nearly a decade I have now resigned myself to it. Yes, I now know that I am an official bona fide bike widow (OBFBW), and that is how it will be forever, ad infinitum, world without end, amen.
So for those who are in a similar position of trying to come to terms with their status, I hereby present the Ten Things That Show You Are An OBFBW.
1. You spend hours in the middle of a field watching bikers pound around a trail whilst you get coated in their dust.
2. You do the above even if it’s raining.
3. You do all the above willingly.
4. You have developed a taste for Mule bars and find they’re a tasty snack to go with your coffee.
5. You no longer bat an eyelid when faced with the prospect of washing a load of sweaty race jerseys.
6. You are impervious to mud on the hall floor and tools left around the house in odd positions.
7. You find yourself flicking through Singletrack and actually being interested by the article about the new trail centre in the Lake District.
8. You know the difference between 29 and 26 inch wheels, full suspension versus hardtail, and can talk knowledgeably about various bike manufacturers.
9. You find yourself saying things such as “yes, I suppose we do have room in the spare room for one more bike”, “sure, I don’t mind going up to Scotland and waiting in the cafe whilst you ride that trail” and “of course I’ll sit up all night and be your support crew for a race.“
10. The Cafe2U van barista knows you by sight.