In which I harbour secret ambitions to be a ballerina

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I went with friends to see Black Swan last night, which I’d been looking forward to it for ages – I harboured an ambition all through my childhood to be a ballet dancer and, despite my complete lack of ability, I still get a little pang when I think about being a ballerina. It didn’t disappoint, although it was a lot more violent than I was expecting, which meant I spent about half the film jumping into my friend’s lap and the other half watching it through my scarf. The blood, the feathers through her skin, the freaky moment where her legs crack into a swan shape! All of us came out of the cinema rather shaken and raw and traumatised, not knowing quite how we felt about what we’d just witnessed. Props to Natalie Portman though; an amazing performance and one definitely deserving of the Best Actress BAFTA she got last week.

(I am still convinced the costume designer copied my headdress.)

This week has felt very long and busy. It’s been good – one highlight was going to the opening of a wedding dress exhibition at Bath’s Fashion Museum for work (complete with complementary prosecco, yes I’ll have a glass or three thank you very much) – but I’m very pleased it’s Friday and I can sink a few G&Ts. Saturday is going to be spent sorting out the final bits of our bedroom makeover (hurrah, it’s nearly done!) and getting the house back into a hygienic and gleaming state. I’m then heading off to London on Sunday, multitasking by going to a friend’s birthday lunch before visiting my brother and cooking him an early birthday dinner (how come so many people I know are born in February?). I then have to get up obscenely early on Monday, but it is worth it because I will be boarding a train to Paris so I can hang out with two of my closest friends for three days. Dear friends, red wine, croissants, cheese, baguettes, Paris in the (nearly) spring… I can’t wait.

It will also be good to get away from stressing about jobs for a few days – I don’t have anything lined up yet and I admit, I’m starting to worry a little. S keeps reassuring me that it will be fine and I know it will; maybe not by 31st March but it will sort itself out eventually. I’m a worrier by nature though, and keep fretting about the consequences of not having a guaranteed income in a month’s time. I appreciate that disappearing off to Paris does seem somewhat of a hypocritical action in the face of impending unemployment, but I only see B on average twice a year, if we”re lucky, and meeting up with Steph is pretty much a once-every-two-years event. Chances for all three of us to be together are even more rare, so it had to be done. If I don’t secure a job by the end of March then Paris is my last hurrah before I settle down to evenings in, beans on toast every night and Shanks’ pony. Oh well, at least I’ll have gone out in style. And if I bring back a stash of vin mousseux and pain au chocolat it should make unemployment easier to cope with.

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3 responses »

  1. I too always wanted to be a ballerina, despite a complete lack of physical coordination. To me it was always about the pink tulle.

    I hope you have a fantastic time in Paris. There is nothing hypocritical about investing in experiences with your best friends. Jobs come and go… but this is an opportunity not to be missed. Have a great time!

  2. Thanks Quindalina – I’ll go and check out your blog to find out what a ballerina’s life is really like!

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