In which I plan to eat, drink and be merry


This coming weekend I plan to drink copious amounts of coke, chew gum, eat as many corn on the cobs I can physically ingest and quaff red wine until I’m sick of the taste.

No, I’m not trying to gain 10lbs, but having one last hurrah before my braces go on next Tuesday.

Braces don’t mix with a lot of things, and there’s going to be a certain amount of sacrifice for the next few months.  Yes, I’ll (touch wood) end up with front teeth that actually meet the bottom teeth, rather than projecting backwards at a 45 degree angle, but in return for this I have to give up or cut back on a lot of things I really, really like.

Top of the list is the red wine.  Alcohol contains a lot of sugar, and the one thing you can’t have with braces is too much free sugar.  The colour of it probably doesn’t help either.  Out also goes my mid-afternoon digestive, any fizzy drinks and the occasional sugar in my tea.  On top of this, I won’t be able to bite into certain foods for risk of damaging the brace, so it’s bye bye bagels, whole apples and corn on the cob.  Anything chewy and sticky is a nightmare – I can still remember getting gum stuck under the wire last time around.   S is going to have to eat all the Toffee Pennies and Caramel Sticks in the next box of Quality Street.   And did I mention reduced red wine intake?

There will be upsides, I guess – healthier me with less sugar in my system, but it’s going to be hard.  At least coffee is OK – there are limits, and in lattes v. straight teeth I’m not sure who would triumph…

It’s odd to think I’m going to have braces again.  It’s not really sunk in, and I don’t believe it will until I look in the mirror for the first time post hospital.  S is being an absolute star – after all, this does affect him as well – although I don’t think he quite realises how different I’m going to look.  I’m comforting myself with the fact that it’s not for too long, I’m a lot better equipped to handle it this time around, and that it will be worth it in the end.  Plus I have a wedding at the end of it which is a definite incentive!  Now, where’s that bottle of wine?

Update on the alcohol situation: it turns out that my concerns about booze were for nothing.  The orthodontist looked positively bemused when I asked about alcohol, and said I was the first person ever to ask him that.  Trying to ignore the fact that I was coming over as a complete lush, I explained that I was checking about whether the alcohol in sugar would be a problem, ditto the colour of things such as red wine.  His response was that as long as I kept within government guidelines, he didn”t really care what I got up to.  Excellent!  I’ve discovered that red wine numbs brace pain quite well.


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